Alchemical "chymical marriage" with assisting dove. The dove's banner reads: "It is the Spirit which vivifies".
King and Queen in the alchemical vessel, which is the container for the work.
(The images are from the Rosarium Philosophorum, first printed in Frankfurt in 1550.)
Love is only possible if two persons communicate with each other from the centre of their existence, hence if each one of them experiences himself from the centre of his existence. Only in this "central experience" is human reality, only here is aliveness, only here is the basis for love. Love, experienced thus, is a constant challenge; it is not a resting place, but a moving, growing, working together... (Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving.)
We believe a couples relationship is a container which can create the safety and space for the individuals to grow. Sometimes this container cracks. The work in therapy assists with repair, healing and creating a renewed and healthy relationship.
There are some circumstances where the relationship cannot be healed, and in this case therapy is useful to support separation in a way that is best for both individuals, and for the family.
We work most often with both therapists (Amanda and Ron) in the room with the couple. We find this helps enormously in understanding couple dynamics and the ways in which each individual triggers the other.
Psychologically, the square is more stable than the triangle. In other words, four people in the room (in this "mini-group" setting) provides a stability that minimises the risk of one individual in the couple feeling marginalised or excluded.
Staemmler's Schemes of Interaction are powerful tools we often use with couples who tend to trigger each other. The animation below shows how Staemmler's second scheme works.
The shapes are shown shifting because that is what happens in the interactions between the partners - the behaviours of each partner, and the meanings attributed to them by the other partner, are in constant flux; and in constant reaction to a wide range of factors, only some of which are in their awareness.
Frank Staemmler's schemes of interaction are presented in his paper Joint Constructions: On the Subject Matter of Gestalt Couple Therapy, Exemplified by Gender-Specific Misunderstandings with Regards to Intimacy, in Robert Lee's recent book The Secret Language of Intimacy.