A simple technique to communicate when we might usually just fight.  These three sentences can make the world of difference.

In our last post we talked about Going the other way. So here’s an example of how you might do this. The Three Sentences Three simple sentences can change the way we discuss our upsets. They can become a profound exercise if taken seriously and done with gentleness. The point is to speak openly and [...]

Find new ways through disagreements.  Doing the same thing but expecting different results never works.  Read more to find another way.

The Dynamics in Couple Relationships We wrote in Being Right and Being Wrong about the dynamics that occur between the partners in a couple relationship, and about going beyond right and wrong. We want to go into more depth on this topic. Let’s start with A Course in Miracles, which says: Reason will tell you [...]

The difference between being right and being happy and healthy.  See how attack and defence keep the problems stuck.

Couple Dynamics Don’t come to see us as a couple if you want us to take sides and decide who’s right and who’s wrong! We never see couples issues as one person’s fault. They’re a dynamic between two people, and if the dynamic continues to reoccur then both people need to see their part in [...]

On being gentle with yourself and partner when trying new strategies in therapy or in life.

The Couple as the “Third” Some couples we see coming to therapy have been under siege. If we use the metaphor of the couple relationship as the “third”, an entity with its own life (along with the two individuals), then that third element becomes debilitated if it suffers repeated attacks, as do the individuals themselves. [...]

Fear can be an instinctual defence but one that stands in the way of a happy future.   Forgiveness could be the answer.

Narcissistic Wounding We spoke in a recent article about Narcissistic Wounding in the couple relationship, and how learning to withstand this wounding can be a powerful way of transforming a relationship. The artist Louise Bourgeois had a deep understanding of narcissism, as evidenced by the rich art works she made over many years. In these [...]

Our Sexual Intimacy Program is a 7 to 10 week program of exercises and activities done in conjunction with therapy to increase your intimacy.

Our Sexual Intimacy Program (SIP) We’re please to announce our Sexual Intimacy Program (SIP), which we’ve been thinking about and developing for a while now. We’re excited about this program, not only because it has some great ideas and practical exercises that couples do at home, but because we now have enough evidence to know [...]

Getting past the original narcissistic wounding to find a place of connection through feelings, sensations and understanding.

The Barbs and Wounds of Intimate Relationships Often couples come into therapy recounting an argument they’ve had. Each partner valiantly tries to get us to agree that their own position is correct. Well, it won’t work. We’re not there to be adjudicators. Actually, we’re not even there to resolve conflict (which may sound strange, but [...]