The Gold in “Seeing Through”

Slowing down couple communication and not taking our partner personally can aid in creating a healthy relationship.

Finally Seeing Through! We recently received a call from a man, from a troubled couple we’d previously worked with, to say that they were off on an exotic trip to get married! The relationship had been characterised by stormy outbursts on the part of the woman, and subsequent anger and retreat on the part of […] Read more

How Long Will it Take?

What to expect when starting therapy. How long will it take?  The good news is our brains are wired for change.

Changing Habits is Hard How Long Will it Take? This is a question that many starting therapy, or any new endeavour, may ask themselves. The answer’s not straightforward, but having said that there are some guidelines. Let’s assume you’re coming to therapy to work on your relationship (or an addiction, depression, or other ongoing issue) […] Read more

If You’re Nice to Me, I’ll be Nice to You

Giving to get can never make you happy.  We are wired for reciprocity but only when it’s through genuine care.

Giving to Get It’s that time of year again, the festive season. Families get together to celebrate, partners negotiate how to deal with competing needs. Let’s consider how we may consciously or unconsciously give to get – instead of just giving from our hearts with no need for anything in return. Relationships are often built […] Read more

I Want To Build Trust But S/he Is Not Trustworthy

Building or rebuilding that subtle bond of trust and truth with an intimate partner.

How to Build Trust? We often see this: the couple want to work on “building trust”. The issue shows up in many different ways. One person may allude to not trusting the other with money, or one person might say “If I am vulnerable it will be used against me later”. And these things may […] Read more

The Golden Rules of Relationships

Three Golden Rules in a relationship; Feel your feelings, Tell the truth and Keep your commitments.

Let’s Talk About the Rules Let’s talk about the Golden Rules of Relationships. These are the “make or break” rules for increasing intimacy. We either embrace them, or the relationship stagnates (or worse). So here they are. Feel Your Feelings Feel your feelings is about checking in with ourselves, finding out what is really going […] Read more