The Challenge In this post, the second in the Despatches from the Retreat series, we want to look at relationships, particularly intimate relationships, and the potential dynamics between the partners. With the difficulties of COVID-19, these dynamics can be an extra challenge, because many of us are forced to be in closer contact with our [...]

Difference in Counselling and Psychotherapy One of the big themes we see in Counselling and Psychotherapy with both couples and individuals is a difficulty in accepting and dealing with difference, and the conflicts associated with this. This post is a short meditation on difference. Sometimes Masked in Counselling Here are some examples from Counselling that [...]

Couple Arguments When couples come to us saying they have communication issues it is usually due to one or two of the following reasons: Real-World Issues: such as differences of opinion on money, family, debt, children, blended families, houses. Attachment Issues. This often shows up in communication as couples fighting about how they fight. The [...]

Tips from an Attachment Point of View As we approach the summer holiday season (in Australia at least) it’s worth remembering that even in the best of times, with few exceptions, we as couples need to practice the principles of couple security. And this for some even more so when on holiday, with the potentially [...]

Therapy Duo at the GANZ Conference We’re just back from the GANZ (Gestalt Australia and New Zealand) conference in Canberra where we gave a presentation on our eclectic approach to couples therapy. It was gratifying to receive such positive feedback on our way of working, and a great opportunity for us to reflect on how [...]

Finally Seeing Through! We recently received a call from a man, from a troubled couple we’d previously worked with, to say that they were off on an exotic trip to get married! The relationship had been characterised by stormy outbursts on the part of the woman, and subsequent anger and retreat on the part of [...]

Changing Habits is Hard How Long Will it Take? This is a question that many starting therapy, or any new endeavour, may ask themselves. The answer’s not straightforward, but having said that there are some guidelines. Let’s assume you’re coming to therapy to work on your relationship (or an addiction, depression, or other ongoing issue) [...]

In our last post we talked about Going the other way. So here’s an example of how you might do this. The Three Sentences Three simple sentences can change the way we discuss our upsets. They can become a profound exercise if taken seriously and done with gentleness. The point is to speak openly and [...]

The Dynamics in Couple Relationships We wrote in Being Right and Being Wrong about the dynamics that occur between the partners in a couple relationship, and about going beyond right and wrong. We want to go into more depth on this topic. Let’s start with A Course in Miracles, which says: Reason will tell you [...]