Escaping the Narcissistic Bubble

Fear can be an instinctual defence but one that stands in the way of a happy future.   Forgiveness could be the answer.

Narcissistic Wounding We spoke in a recent article about Narcissistic Wounding in the couple relationship, and how learning to withstand this wounding can be a powerful way of transforming a relationship. The artist Louise Bourgeois had a deep understanding of narcissism, as evidenced by the rich art works she made over many years. In these […] Read more

Are We Sleeping with our Expectations?

Why might couples come together in the first place?  What are they trying to achieve? Can we get what we want?

Sleeping with our Expectations Are we sleeping with our expectations of our partner? Have we made up a day-to-day story of what we need from our partner? Have we made any hidden deals with them, to make ourselves feel safe, to complete or fix an old story? (We’re using “sleeping” here as a metaphor for a […] Read more

Beyond Narcissistic Wounding

Getting past the original narcissistic wounding to find a place of connection through feelings, sensations and understanding.

The Barbs and Wounds of Intimate Relationships Often couples come into therapy recounting an argument they’ve had. Each partner valiantly tries to get us to agree that their own position is correct. Well, it won’t work. We’re not there to be adjudicators. Actually, we’re not even there to resolve conflict (which may sound strange, but […] Read more

The Perils of Character Development

Creative Character Development In Gestalt we’re often working with the Here and Now, with what’s arising in the present moment. But of course, what’s arising is often affected by our habitual patterns of coping, on our creative adaptations (as they’re termed in Gestalt). We call these adaptations “creative” because they have enabled us to accommodate […] Read more