We’ve just published an article on what to expect if you come to us for couples therapy. It’s about a 7 minute read and hopefully should give some useful background to couples therapy in general and in particular the way in which both of us with couples. We hope you find it useful.
Articles on Communication
Communication is crucial for couples. But what we sometimes miss in communication is the importance of listening (as well as speaking). When true listening happens then communication becomes a real sharing of our essence. These articles look at aspects of communication within couple relationships. They also apply to relationships with friends and colleagues.
Difference in Counselling and Psychotherapy One of the big themes we see in Counselling and Psychotherapy with both couples and individuals is a difficulty in accepting and dealing with difference, and the conflicts associated with this. This post is a short meditation on difference. Sometimes Masked in Counselling Here are some examples from Counselling that [...]
Wu-Wei and the Lake Como Storm We awoke one night at Lake Como this (Northern) summer to a powerful storm with endless rolling thunder. The air was lit with bright sheets of lightning, the rain hammered down, and the power in our apartment was cut off. This went on for hours, and all we could [...]
Couple Arguments When couples come to us saying they have communication issues it is usually due to one or two of the following reasons: Real-World Issues: such as differences of opinion on money, family, debt, children, blended families, houses. Attachment Issues. This often shows up in communication as couples fighting about how they fight. The [...]
Tips from an Attachment Point of View As we approach the summer holiday season (in Australia at least) it’s worth remembering that even in the best of times, with few exceptions, we as couples need to practice the principles of couple security. And this for some even more so when on holiday, with the potentially [...]
We’ve been wanting a simple primer for attachment theory for a while, and while there are several really good books around, not everyone wants to read a whole book on the subject to get an idea of what it’s about. We also wanted to give our view of this topic, after ten years of working [...]
Security Questions and Answers We’ve been thinking since our last post The Gold in “Seeing Through” about how often we misunderstand one another and create problems and pain where these could be avoided. One way this happens is by not understanding what our partner is really asking of us. In relationships we sometimes use “security” [...]
Finally Seeing Through! We recently received a call from a man, from a troubled couple we’d previously worked with, to say that they were off on an exotic trip to get married! The relationship had been characterised by stormy outbursts on the part of the woman, and subsequent anger and retreat on the part of [...]
The Dynamics in Couple Relationships We wrote in Being Right and Being Wrong about the dynamics that occur between the partners in a couple relationship, and about going beyond right and wrong. We want to go into more depth on this topic. Let’s start with A Course in Miracles, which says: Reason will tell you [...]
Giving to Get It’s that time of year again, the festive season. Families get together to celebrate, partners negotiate how to deal with competing needs. Let’s consider how we may consciously or unconsciously give to get – instead of just giving from our hearts with no need for anything in return. Relationships are often built [...]